A Bump in the Road

This guest blog is written by Batoul one of the most courageous 

and hard-working young 

Rugby players in Egypt

A Bump in the Road

I was dying to finally have my turn to play. The ref whistled, the Rugby ball was kicked off, my teammate caught it and she was soon tackled to the ground so I went to get the ball out while one of the opponents managed to reach just in time when I was passing the ball to tackle me down. I went down alright!  Only this time I couldn't get back up on my feet again. I heard my leg crack loud and clear, and later knew that other players could hear it too! I was not tackled properly. The pain I felt at the moment was so excruciating that I was gasping for breath.  Despite everything,  I was trying to re-position my leg back to normal but to no avail;  it was wobbly; it felt like it belonged to someone else and would not obey my will. In the blink of an eye, I was carried out of the field, first aided; my leg was elevated, iced and the game was back on as if nothing ever happened! It all happened to fast.

Looking back at it now, I really wonder where did I get the calm I had then? I caught myself reasoning, trying to figure out where exactly my leg hurt, while the match continued. I even had the mind to reflect on the way our team warmed up and realize we were a bit nervous at first. I didn't want us to waste all the hard work for that reason. But as always, my playmates amazed everyone including me, as an audience now, with their performance. They truly lit up my heart and I was left with only one reason to be sad about: not being part of this success. I was in tears, not knowing whether to be happy for the victory or sad for the injury. The whole incident was shocking and perplexing and I was busy trying to get my head around it.

The day before the tournament, I had a feeling something was going to happen but I had no clue how. I knew that because I pray every night before our tournaments to Allah asking him to protect us from injuries but this time I did pray more than usual as if I knew it would happen. So the whole incident was overwhelming considering a lot of factors. The first thing I spoke after I was able to, was "الحمد الله" while the girls were carrying me outside off the field to the outline.

The struggle

The most challenging thing for me on that day was to fully control my tears. It was not because I could not bear the injury, but rather, I felt like I was a huge plastic bag filled with water. And it was pinned to the ground, too heavy to move. So I put my finger on the hole to stop the leakage but whoever was near my figure and was able to move it a bit, it leaked again. Until I managed and I was calm again. We spent the rest of the day as we usually do. We ate together then it was time to head back to Cairo. I slept the whole way back. And before we arrived I called my friend to come and pick me up, I didn't want to worry my mum. My friend said, let's go right away to the hospital and we did. I did my scans and it appeared to be a broken ankle. We spent 4 hours in the hospital that night. I called my mum and it wasn't easy to calm her down. Finally, I arrived home with the scans, my ankle in a splint, doctor's prescription and doctor's shocking words: " you need a surgery". Of course, I could not sleep well that night because it was not comfortable to sleep in the same position the whole night. Moreover,  I had no got a crutch yet. So I had to hop to go anywhere. The next step was to tell dad about what happened, my dad works abroad, and to start asking more seasoned doctors about my case. A week went by and all the doctors I have visited said the same thing: a surgery is a must. I have not only broken a bone in the ankle but due to the complete tear of the main outside ligament of the ankle, two bones have been separated. To be put back to position, they needed screws. Hearing the news from the first doctor I have visited was like a slap in the face. I had hope that I can recover without an operation.  All I know about surgeries was only through " Grey's Anatomy."   I did not know what to expect? What should I do? I knew nothing. I started watching the surgery online. I started calling the doctor frequently and he was horrible on the phone, I wanted him to reassure me about whatever I am asking about but he did not care to do it. My sister told me you do not look like you need reassurance plus you know he was busy. And he was.  He has actually become our family doctor now because we have been dealing with him since my sister was a swimmer.

The surgery

Day in day out. It's surgery day already. I am fasting. We are all up early ready to go. One of my teammates joined me on such day. Everything was peaceful we had a photoshoot before the surgery with the ball. Our rugby ball. And then the nurse asked me to start changing to get ready for the surgery. I sat in a wheelchair and the nurse pushed me. Then I had my time, asking Allah for the best. Everything seemed more quite now as I entered the surgery room. First time to see the doctor in scrubs as I always went to his clinic for just soft tissue injuries. I felt so small and the room was too big. They helped me up to lay on the bed. And as the nurse injected a needle for a liquid to maintain my blood pressure during the surgery she asked me if I would want to sleep through the whole surgery or have an anaesthetic which wouldn't let me feel my whole legs while the doctor is working. I chose not to sleep. The doctor started and I felt nothing " الحمد الله" I started talking to the anaesthetic doctor while I saw on the x-ray screen, the screws put right through my bones. It wasn't as horrible as it sounds. Imagine it as an X-ray scan but with screws. I looked at the time, almost an hour has passed now. I can imagine how mum is worried about waiting outside, so I asked the nurse if she can tell her that I am okay. Finally, time flew and I was taken out to the guest room resting until the anaesthetic effect runs out.

So I can go home safely. I was very hungry.

My teammate and sister went to get some food and coffee as the doctor said it would help with waking me from the anaesthetic effect. A few hours later, I felt my leg again and it was time to leave the hospital and go home.

It's coming to an end)

I thought I was fine, and I was physically fine considering, I just had a surgery. Until I was faced with my basic needs as a human being. I wasn't able to go to the bathroom on my own; I could not actually sit and it started bothering me very much. And I knew I didn't want to be left alone with my thoughts. I was moved to tears when my friends started to leave and this made it hard for them. They had their lives to keep going with. So I calmed down and they were able to leave in peace. I, on the other hand, started fighting all my bothering thoughts and I was trying to force my normal life thoughts back but it doesn't work that way. All of a sudden I had a breakdown, I cried my heart and lungs out. My mum was frightened but my sister understood that I needed to let it all out. Finally, it was bedtime; I just hoped to be able to sleep. But the pain reliever effect was gone and I couldn't take another dose until sunrise. It was a very cold night for me. I couldn't sleep a minute because of the severe pain I felt in my ankle. My sister wasn't able to sleep either because of me that night. She had to assist me each time I needed to go to the bathroom and I shouldn't lower my leg under any circumstances, I wouldn't bear the pain anyways. The anaesthetic made me very thirsty; I kept drinking all night and of course, I had to go to the bathroom. Imagine you are fast asleep and exhausted from the day then someone wakes you up at around 3 am. Plus you know that someone is not okay so you wake up abruptly. It's something you don't want. This was repeated about 4 times during the night. A few hours later, I finally could take a pain reliever, daytime has arrived with better vibes and try again breeze. Everything felt better. Days have passed, pain has diminished, and my appetite was coming back to normal. I finally started to get some food in my system. A week flew by, I went for the first visit to the doctor after the surgery. He checked the surgical cut, everything seemed fine. And we agreed to visit again next week. I felt way better, way lighter. I am starting to feel me again until I met someone who had a car accident and he came out of it with complete leg paralyzed. I was grateful that my only challenge was not being able to play the sport I love for a couple of months. He also gave me more positive energy and reassurance. If he can go on with his life and he's paralyzed, I definitely can do way more. Things are getting better for me now, towards several things I was trying to plan lately and I believe it's only because Allah has planned for it.